Here's Some Advice on Coping with Failure


Fear of failure causes us to put the brakes on our life. Without question, fear of failure is immobilizing and, when we allow it to dictate our choices we miss great opportunities and potential for success. Here are some signs to watch out for:

  • A reluctance to try new things

  • Self-sabotage in the form of procrastination or failure to follow through with goals

  • Low self-esteem or self-confidence

The thing to remember with failure is, it's all a matter of perspective. We have two choices. We can either think of failure as proof of inadequacy or an awesome learning experience. When we fail, we are given powerful lessons that help us to grow as people. The bottom line is, failure stops us only if we let it. Here are some ways you can cope:

  • Separate your Identity From Failure (Just because you haven't tasted success yet doesn't mean you're a failure. Making failure personal can take a toll on your self-esteem and confidence).

  • Rely on Logic, Not Emotions (As I mentioned, you can learn an awful lot from failure, but in order to do so you have to look at the failure logically, even analytically, suspending emotions of regret, frustration, and anger).

  • Don't Give Your Power to Other People (Fear of failure is often rooted in a need to seek approval from others. We fear if we fail, we will be harshly judged by others and lose their respect. However, when we care more about what other people think of us, we give our power away. What other people think about you is not necessarily the truth about you).

Sometimes when our fear of failure is so great, it helps to talk to someone who can help you gain a new perspective on it. Seeking guidance from a therapist may be just what you need to tackle your fear of failure and live the life you were meant to live. If you are interested in exploring treatment, please contact me. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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