Who Wears the Pants? Advice for Balancing the Power in Your Relationship


When it comes to relationships, it seems there is often one partner who seems to always have the upper hand. This is often referred to as "wearing the pants." The partner who "wears the pants" is the one most often in control of the relationship. Keep reading for advice on balancing the power in your relationship.

  • Self-Respect

Each person in the relationship must value themselves. Each person should see themselves as a person with value, who deserves an equal and loving partnership. Maintaining a balance of power in a relationship requires self-respect. If one person in the relationship does not value themselves and they're willing to do anything to keep the other person in a relationship, they are setting the relationship up to fail. The person in control will loose respect while the person giving up control will build resentment towards their partner.

  • Balancing Power

To create or maintain balance in your relationship, you must learn to stand your ground. Make your boundaries known, figure out what your deal breakers are, and be prepared to walk away if necessary. If there are important things that your partner needs to change, set a time limit. For example, if your partner frequently puts you down, give them a period of time in which they have to make significant improvement. Know in advance what you're willing to accept, and what behavior is unacceptable. It's possible that your partner won't change, and if so you need to be prepared to walk away while your self-esteem is still intact.


Are you having difficulties in your relationship? Call my office today and let's set up a free phone consultation to talk.

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