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How To Deal With Loneliness After A Breakup and 3 Ways To Cope

Updated: May 9, 2023

Take Away:

Surviving a breakup can be difficult. The emotional toll is enough to send many people reaching for comfort foods in times of crisis. When you experience a breakup, it is important to fight your urge to self-medicate the sadness and loneliness away through unhealthy foods or alcohol. Skip the ice cream and keep reading to learn about the healthiest ways to deal with being broken up.


Table of Contents:

1. What emotions happen during a breakup?

2. How can therapy help me deal with being broken up?

3. What are ways to cope with a breakup?

4. How to love yourself after a breakup?


What Emotions Happen During a Breakup?

Whether your breakup was mutual or one-sided, recovering from a relationship splitting up is not easy. Going through a breakup can be a roller coaster of up and down emotions. One minute you may be relieved as the fighting and arguments have stopped and on the other

a carton of brown eggs with a variety of facial expressions
Feeling lonely after a breakup

you may feel angry as you reflect on past negative experiences. Some people may wonder "why am I not sad after a break up?" It is important to give yourself time to acknowledge and process the emotions coming up even if they are painful.

When dealing with a breakup, emotions can change quickly and it is important to create and allow room for these emotions to take up space. Do not be surprised if your emotions swing from highs to lows. As difficult as it may seem after splitting up, working through emotions is the first step to dealing with a breakup.

Common emotions that follow a breakup can include:

  • Shock

  • Denial

  • Betrayal

  • Fear

  • Embarrassment

  • Sadness

  • Relief

  • Rejection

  • Acceptance


How can Therapy Help Me Deal with being broken up?

Woman sitting on a couch with her arms folded
Broken Up

Meeting with a therapist to work through a relationship splitting up, can help you better understand the ending of the relationship, help you gain additional perspective into your role in the situation, and help you explore ways to grow and expand for future relationships. Working with a therapist can be a big step in giving yourself permission to feel all of your feelings, as you deal with your breakup.

During moments of anxiety, sadness, or high stress working with a therapist, can also provide you with the tools that can assist you in making significant changes. As a therapist that helps my clients work through life transitions including coping with a breakup and managing self-esteem,I help guide my clients on the journey of recognizing patterns and making healthier choices. Therapy is an investment but once you commit you are laying the foundation to create better habits and engage in behaviors that lead to a more fulfilling life including building habits to help you learn how to be happy after a breakup.


What Are Ways to Cope with a Breakup?

person holding a ripped paper that covers their face with a red heart
Splitting Up

There is no rule book on how to get over a breakup; however, in the age of social media it is important to set some safeguards in place so that you are not inundated with memories from the past. For some, this includes changing a relationship status, removing pictures, and silencing notifications. A study was done on coping strategies for managing a breakup in the age of Facebook, and the participants were found to utilize a mixture of coping strategies that included seeking support, changing their passwords, and adjusting their privacy settings on Facebook. Here are some additional suggestions that can help you develop healthier ways of coping with a breakup.

1. Create a New Space

It’s time for a fresh new start, and there is no better way to do this than by giving your living space a makeover. Move the furniture around, give your living room a new paint color, and get some new sheets and linens. You want to remove obvious memories from your home and create the kind of space that makes you feel excited for your future.

2. Reconnect with Loved Ones

Often when we are in a relationship, all of our time and energy goes to the other person and we see friends and family less than we would like. Now is a great time to reconnect with those people who will love and support you through this challenging time.

3. Try Mindfulness Meditation

Mindful meditation is a great way to quiet your thoughts and just be with the real you. Meditation can also help to alleviate stress. All you need is 5 to 10 minutes a day and you are on your way to starting to feel calm and balanced. Breakups will never be easy, but they are a part of life. Do your best to stay away from binging on junk food and instead focus on self-care and compassion.


How to Love Yourself After a Breakup?

As discussed above, a range of emotions often can follow a relationship splitting up. Although it may take some time, there is a way to embrace how to be happy after a breakup. If you find yourself staring longingly at couples holding hands, it may be time to reevaluate and learn to appreciate the benefits of a single life and learn how to love yourself after a breakup. Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Rediscover Yourself

One of the best things about being single is that you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself. Your alone time can be an opportunity to develop insight into what makes you happy and what your values are. As you take a walk through a park or enjoy a cup of coffee alone, you can reevaluate your goals. As you learn to feel comfortable in your own company, you will discover that happiness comes from within.

2. Better Friendships

Single adults have more time to network with others and develop outside friendships. You can schedule more time to be with friends, make friends, or join friends in opportunities that will make lasting memories such as trips or celebrations. Friendships can reduce stress and anxiety, while increasing happiness and confidence.

3. Find New Interests

As a single person, you have additional time that you can use to develop new hobbies and interests. If you have always wanted to join a yoga or spin class, join a book club, you have time to dive in to new hobbies. Participating in hobbies can improve your mood and your ability to cope with stress.

Woman smiling wearing a shirt that says therapy is cool
Self-Esteem Therapist in Houston

Feeling lonely after a breakup? Get Help!

If you are in Houston, New York, or California and you would like to explore treatment options for how to love yourself after a breakup, please contact me and schedule a free consultation today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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