Take Away:
Surviving a breakup can be difficult. The emotional toll is enough to send many people reaching for comfort foods in times of crisis. When you experience a breakup, it is important to fight your urge to self-medicate the sadness and loneliness away through unhealthy foods or alcohol. Skip the ice cream and keep reading to learn about the healthiest ways to deal with being broken up. It's important that we take the time to learn how to be alone after any breakup.
Table of Contents:
1. What emotions happen during a breakup?
2. How can therapy help me deal with being broken up?
3. What are ways to cope with a breakup?
4. How to love yourself after a breakup?
What Emotions Happen During a Breakup?
Whether your breakup was mutual or one-sided, recovering from a relationship splitting up is not easy. If you're currently feeling alone after your breakup, this is a very common feeling and part of the healing journey. Going through a breakup can be a roller coaster of up and down emotions. One minute you may be relieved as the fighting and arguments have stopped and on the other
you may feel angry as you reflect on past negative experiences. Some people may wonder "why am I not sad after a break up?" It is important to give yourself time to acknowledge and process the emotions coming up even if they are painful.
When dealing with a breakup, emotions can change quickly and it is important to create and allow room for these emotions to take up space. Do not be surprised if your emotions swing from highs to lows, feelings of heartbreak to feelings of anger. As difficult as it may seem after splitting up, working through emotions is the first step to dealing with a breakup.
Common emotions that follow a breakup can include:
Shock
Denial
Betrayal
Fear
Embarrassment
Sadness
Relief
Rejection
Acceptance
Heartbreak
Loneliness
How can Therapy Help Me Deal with being broken up?
Meeting with a therapist to work through a relationship splitting up, can help you better understand the ending of the relationship, help you gain additional perspective into your role in the situation, and help you explore ways to grow and expand for future relationships. This can be a difficult time, and you don't have to face it alone. Working with a therapist can be a big step in giving yourself permission to feel all of your feelings, as you deal with your breakup. As a result of therapy, you'll often start to feel more comfortable being alone after your breakup.
During moments of anxiety, sadness, or high stress working with a therapist, can also provide you with the tools that can assist you in making significant changes. As a therapist that helps my clients work through life transitions including coping with a breakup and managing self-esteem, I help guide my clients on the journey of recognizing patterns and making healthier choices. Therapy is an investment but once you commit you are laying the foundation to create better habits and engage in behaviors that lead to a more fulfilling life including building habits to help you learn how to be happy after a breakup. We also look at ways to have healthy relationships in the future, with skills like boundary setting for example.
What Are Ways to Cope with a Breakup?
There is no rule book on how to get over a breakup; however, in the age of social media it is important to set some safeguards in place so that you are not inundated with memories from the past. For some, this includes changing a relationship status, removing pictures, and silencing notifications. A study was done on coping strategies for managing a breakup in the age of Facebook, and the participants were found to utilize a mixture of coping strategies that included seeking support, changing their passwords, and adjusting their privacy settings on Facebook. Here are some additional suggestions that can help you develop healthier ways of coping with a breakup.
1. Create a New Space
It’s time for a fresh new start, and there is no better way to do this than by giving your living space a makeover. Move the furniture around, give your living room a new paint color, and get some new sheets and linens. You want to remove obvious memories from your home and create the kind of space that makes you feel excited for your future. It's shown that changing your environment can make you feel good and help on this healing journey.
2. Reconnect with Loved Ones
Often when we are in a relationship, all of our time and energy goes to the other person and we see friends and family less than we would like. You may feel that you've lost friends or not put enough time in those relationships. Now is a great time to reconnect with those people who will love and support you through this challenging time. Your community of loved ones are often of the best support systems during this time. If you live alone, be sure to be out and about with others, or you can alternatively invite others over to your place to spend time together.
3. Try Mindfulness Meditation
Mindful meditation is a great way to quiet your thoughts and just be with the real you. Meditation can also help to alleviate stress. Regular meditation is like exercise for your mind. All you need is 5 to 10 minutes a day and you are on your way to starting to feel calm and balanced. Breakups will never be easy, but they are a part of life. Do your best to stay away from binging on junk food and instead focus on self-care and compassion.
How to Love Yourself After a Breakup?
As discussed above, a range of emotions often can follow a relationship splitting up. Although it may take some time, there is a way to embrace how to be happy after a breakup. If you find yourself staring longingly at couples holding hands, it may be time to reevaluate and learn to appreciate the benefits of a single life and learn how to love yourself after a breakup. We can often be blinded by fears of being alone, but I assure you, festering on those fears aren't going to help. Here are some tips to help you get started:
1. Rediscover Yourself
One of the best things about being single is that you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself. Your alone time can be an opportunity to develop insight into what makes you happy and what your values are. As you take a walk through a park or enjoy a cup of coffee alone, you can reevaluate your goals. Ask yourself, what is your sense of purpose? As you learn to feel comfortable in your own company, you will discover that happiness comes from within. By having an understanding of yourself, your purpose, and life goals, you'll soon start to feel hopeful for what lies ahead of you after this breakup.
2. Better Friendships
Single adults have more time to network with others and develop outside friendships. You can schedule more time to be with friends, make friends, or join friends in opportunities that will make lasting memories such as trips or celebrations. Friendships can reduce stress and anxiety, while increasing happiness and confidence. This can also be a great time to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people and build new friendships.
3. Find New Interests
As a single person, you have additional time that you can use to develop new hobbies and interests. If you have always wanted to join a yoga or spin class, join a book club, you have time to dive in to new hobbies. Participating in hobbies can improve your mood and your ability to cope with stress. If you're physically able, regular exercise can also help greatly with your mental health during this time.
Feeling lonely after a breakup? Get Help!
If you are in Houston, New York, or California and you would like to explore treatment options for how to love yourself after a breakup, please contact me and schedule a free consultation today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
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